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A BOND WITHIN US.........

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space oxo

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Yoh..pleased to meet you from Malaysia

Yoh, pleased to meet you. I'm from Malaysia

What you said. You're the only reason why Im so stressed Now.


And it happened. Yesterday during our break time. It took long enough until i missed my lunch time.


you are my stress factor

Me: *staring*

Hn:
*silenced*


So it took around a minute before i could talk. I was thinking how the intro should be but ahhhhhh just stay calm and get it over with already...



Hn:
You know, I......

Me:
Stop it. Stop giving other excuses.

Im sick of this already so please stop.

Me: You said you wanted to change but I still havent seen anything. You said you wanted to be more independent but I dont see anything like it. You even said you wanted to throw your childish act and to be more mature! and you know what, you even said that you WILL change for your sake but where is it? Where's the so called-change that you wanted so badly?

Hn:
*looks away* I'm trying...

Me:
trying?Is there even a trying???

Ok i think im angry. I feel like slapping you now.


Hn:
*looks away again*

oh forgodsake please dont try to avoid my eyes dammit.


Me:
Do you think just by saying will solve everything? I've heard it so many times and they echoed each time I see your foolish acts. You forgot who I was right? I bet you did. Let me tell you one more time. I hate people who doesn't stand with the same level as me. I hate and WILL lost interest, just like I did to those around me now except for those two (my best friends). You were number 3 but now I think you are just nothing but same as them. I've lost interest so i dont care what they do and Im starting to feel the same towards you now.

Hn:
*looks up and stares at me*

Me:
If you think you are worth to be the 3rd one in my friend's list, please do as hard as you can and prove to me that you can be in the same level as me. Im just tired of being the one protecting, teaching, etc you anymore. For this time, at least just once, please be someone that I can depend on to whenever I need one.

There. Can't you even get the whole point?

Both of us silenced once again.

Me: You know your silence is getting on my nerves now. Can't you even say something, at least once to defend yourself????


Please don't show your pathetic face to me until the end. I can do this so can you dammit.

Hn: I.....

Me: You're 29 this year and older than me so please do act like one. For now I think this place is no longer a bother cause i don't give a shit about it anymore. BUT NOW, MY PROBLEM IS YOU. YOU AND YOU ALONE. So please don't be a bother to me and change before I loose my interest in you as well. I appreciate our friendship and I hope it doesn't sink..crap what im saying..

Hn:
*looks at me, eyes unblink*

*stares* dammit...cant you even understand this already???? ////////////


Hn: I..i know i haven't really change.......*silence* her voice cracks?she's about to cry?
but I think i will try. I know Im still weak but then saying this will not change anything.
*hands hold together*. I wanted a change but I don't know how, the moment I realized I was acting childish everything's too late so-

Me:
 Then don't do it.

Hn:
 *looks up. confused*

Me:
If you realized the whole thing after it happened then it's better for you to not even start it in the first place. If you think you became childish after talking to the students, then don't talk to them. You are even engaged to someone already so please do think about your position before chating like couples with them or being alone with them. think danger or the consequences of doing so with that 29year old brain of yours.

ok i know i am mean. but I really have no choice but to be one. sorry. I only have a couple of months before i move to another place so Im just too desperate. Can't you even understand that?

Hn: *looks down as if guilty*

Me:
So what do you want to do now?

Hn
: I will try to-

Me:
 how can you even hink about the word 'try'??? If it doesn't work why do you want to use the same method?

Hn:
....

Me:
Please onegai say I will do it.

Hn:
*nods* I'll try..

Me:
 *stares sharply*

Hn:
*just realized what she said* ah, I'll do it!


And I felt really at ease after walking out the room. It was the most ease feeling ever I've felt my entire life. It had surprised me to think that I was actually strangled that badly- with my own feelings towards others. It was so hard to breath and each time I thought I was drowning.

I hope those mean words get to her this time. It was a wakeup call and I promise to only see her as a somebody someday. If not, I am truly a failure- as a friend.



thanks for reading.
art by me. Sorry for the ugliness ^^;



 



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